I'm home from work today because my car broke down and Rob is nice enough to be fixing it. But that is not important. What is important is that my dog Wolfgang apparently survived another suicide attempt!
Some background on Wolfie for anyone who isn't familiar. He was half price at a pet store when he was six months old because he was already a 10lbs Pomeranian, which is huge. He is now 13yrs old and 16lbs. He is beautiful and fluffy and he bites. He bites me, he bite our other dog Nikki who is 4 times his size, he has bitten my brother, snapped at little children, he's a rotten dog, and Rob loves him. This dog is also too mean to die. He has gotten his head stuck in a radiator, chewed a razor, ate several packs of cigarettes, frequently eats chocolate, drank an entire jack and coke then fell over and passed out in our living room, drank a guests glass of wine, knocked several teeth out trying to bite me through his crate, escaped into the west side of Chicago for a month and was found in excellent condition, and ate rancid ham.
So what was the new suicide attempt after all of this that would even be worth mentioning you may be wondering? He tried to hang himself. Yep, he has now survived hanging. (Damn it, he really will live to be 20.) Rob took him to the local coffee shop yesterday, this is their normal pattern, and when he went inside he tied Wolfgang to the chair outside. Not on the ground mind you because according to Rob Wolfgang normally sits on the seat of the chair and waits for him. Well yesterday he jumped. Of course there wasn't that much slack in the leash and his paws barely hit the ground as the choke chain tightened on his neck. Wolfie is fine after this, no harm done, but Rob is babying him even more, he tucked him in on the couch surrounded by pillows when he went to the store today.
So Wolfgang truly will live forever in spite of himself and in spite of Rob. I hope this brightens every one's day!
Some background on Wolfie for anyone who isn't familiar. He was half price at a pet store when he was six months old because he was already a 10lbs Pomeranian, which is huge. He is now 13yrs old and 16lbs. He is beautiful and fluffy and he bites. He bites me, he bite our other dog Nikki who is 4 times his size, he has bitten my brother, snapped at little children, he's a rotten dog, and Rob loves him. This dog is also too mean to die. He has gotten his head stuck in a radiator, chewed a razor, ate several packs of cigarettes, frequently eats chocolate, drank an entire jack and coke then fell over and passed out in our living room, drank a guests glass of wine, knocked several teeth out trying to bite me through his crate, escaped into the west side of Chicago for a month and was found in excellent condition, and ate rancid ham.
So what was the new suicide attempt after all of this that would even be worth mentioning you may be wondering? He tried to hang himself. Yep, he has now survived hanging. (Damn it, he really will live to be 20.) Rob took him to the local coffee shop yesterday, this is their normal pattern, and when he went inside he tied Wolfgang to the chair outside. Not on the ground mind you because according to Rob Wolfgang normally sits on the seat of the chair and waits for him. Well yesterday he jumped. Of course there wasn't that much slack in the leash and his paws barely hit the ground as the choke chain tightened on his neck. Wolfie is fine after this, no harm done, but Rob is babying him even more, he tucked him in on the couch surrounded by pillows when he went to the store today.
So Wolfgang truly will live forever in spite of himself and in spite of Rob. I hope this brightens every one's day!
1 comment:
Long live the dog that will never die...Way to go Wolfie....
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