Mom vs. So Not The Mom

I’m A Horrible Person Who Is Addicted to Really Bad T.V.

2011-01-21T19:56:00.000-06:00

Lately I find myself watching certain T.V. shows just to see the worst performances any show has to offer. American Idol started this week. I’m not a fan. I only watch the audition parts of the show. I do this not to see the good performances, I want to see the train wrecks! The best is when the person thinks they are really good and when they are told they aren’t good they cry and swear that the judges don’t know anything. It’s my favorite part.
When did this fascination with the worst of talent shows start? It started with the auditions of America’s Got Talent. I came across the show a few season’s ago and was hooked when I saw a guy in a silver pair of shorts and angel wings. He was on stage balancing things on his face in all of his sparkly splendor. The best part is that he came back to audition a second time the next year. You can see him on you tube, Leonid the magnificent. He was so serious, but what made it funny was the outfit and his shock that the judges didn’t like it. Precious.
I’m not the only person fascinated by this, I’m just willing to admit it. If you type in worst of and then the name of any talent show, hundreds of videos come up. You can actually spend hours online just watching the worst auditions. So after watching the first 2 episodes of this season I have to say that I’m bummed that there hasn’t been one stand-out horrible audition, there were bad ones, just not a true memorable train wreck. But, I can continue to hope and watch again next week.

Holy crap, we only had 3 posts last year!

2011-01-12T20:31:00.001-06:00

Wow, we really have failed our readers. You can thank Rachel for me finally get a post up in rebuttal of her post (see post below). She has seriously called me 100x a day asking me when I was going to do it.

Sorry again about last year. It was a very, very busy year!

So kudos to Rachel for pushing us back and thanks to Amy for asking where we've been!

Cheers to an eventful and interesting 2011!

Healthy Eating Rebuttal

2011-01-12T20:10:00.002-06:00

ok, whatever, at least I feed you, ya mooch! The only meal I could make for Rachel that would satisfy her would be bacon on top of steak on top of a hamburger. Hey, I also make really yummy, tasty food too. Not everything HAS to be healthy. See...feeding Rachel at my house is much like how I have to feed my 3 year old son. I make whatever it is that we want even if I know it's something he won't like and then I make sure that there's at least one thing he will eat. I figure I'll just keep putting it out there and eventually he'll eat it. and that actually works. his palette grows every day. My daughter is a really good eater, loves all veggies and fruits and actually does like meat Rachel. Steak, chicken, pork, fish, turkey. It's that little guy that's a pain with meat. The only meat he would eat was in the form of a chicken nugget or a fish stick. He finally ate turkey lunch meat (natural without nitrates of course) and I have fed it to him almost every day just to be sure I wasn't dreaming! This after giving him turkey sandwiches for a very long time. So when Rachel eats at my house of course I'm sure that there's always a vegetable, maybe eventually she'll eat it. and I always make sure she can pick around whatever she doesn't like. I'm actually considerate and what do I get for it. Nothing but grief! It's like having a teenage daughter :)
Yep, I like to eat healthy and we all take our vitamins. I also like to drink red wine in large quantities, love chocolate and caramels, and I can't even buy cheez-its because I will eat the whole frick'in box. So eating healthy is just to balance out all the crap I do.
Maybe my kids will be healthy eaters their whole lives or maybe they will rebel and eat like crap the second they are out of my house. I don't force them, they actually like everything they eat.
For the record, quinoa and quinoa flakes taste good and even Jimmy likes it, so there!

p.s. it's "udders", not utters. ptttttthhhhhh! very funny though...tiny almond udders. teehee!

Quinoa And Other Foods I Didn't Know About And Wouldn't Eat Anyway

2011-01-11T15:05:00.002-06:00

First of all lets start with the basic premise that i eat like a 10 year old. if i can't identify it, i'm not touching it. if it's green i'm not touching it. if it's sugar i'm eating loads of it. that being said going to kerri's house is always a new and strange experience in food and has been since before she had kids.
First of all lets start with the basic premise that i eat like a 10 year old. if i can't identify it, i'm not touching it. if it's green i'm not touching it. if it's sugar i'm eating loads of it. that being said going to kerri's house is always a new and strange experience in food and has been since before she had kids.
i will start with the first time i heard her talk about making a smoothie. to me a smoothie is a simple thing, a true cousin of the milkshake. the ingredients are ice, fruit, sweetened yogurt, and honey to make it sweeter, blend together and delicious sweet drinkable treat. the first time i saw her make one it involved most of those things plus flaxseed oil, some kind of aloe vera juice and protein powder. now the smoothie has been destroyed, it is no longer a cousin of the milkshake, it is some odd healthy power drink, yuck!
so if that was prior to the children what happens after? pasta, a simple food, just a vehicle for sauce really. not kerri's. it is not just whole grain pasta but it also has 17 grams of protein per serving. now i get it, her kids won't eat much meat so you have to sneak in protein where you can and she's right it doesn't taste bad, but who even thinks to look for fortified pasta. i also learned at her house that almond milk comes in chocolate, i didn't know you could milk and almond. they must have really tiny utters.
which brings us to the quinoa, which i had to look up the spelling of. after she explained multiple times what it was and how good it was for you and that it was a good breakfast cereal in the form of quinoa flakes that's when i grossed out. but maybe i'm to blame for driving her to this drastic breakfast solution. she doesn't like oatmeal and she can barely even say farina since watching me vomit it up as a kid, ahhh memories. so i went home from her house and did what any good friend would do, try to find out that the whole quinoa thing was bullshit. here is the result of that reseach, kerri is eating a good mormon breakfast! yes quinoa is an anchient grain founf in the andes mountains, it's a relative of the tumbleweed, and it is crap nutritionally. enter the mormons. on there missions to the area the mormons realized the people in the area were malnurished but not much will grow in the andes except quinoa so they took the plant to byu and through the wonders of genetic engineering there is now the current quinoa which is full of nutrients to help the indiginous population in the andes mountains and to sell at whole foods. i'm still not eating it!

TO 2011

2011-01-01T00:05:00.004-06:00

I was out with friends tonight, which is always a good way to spend a New Years Eve. You know swapping funny old stories and talking about future hopes and plans. One of Kerri's friends made an interesting comment about the fact that our blog seems to have stopped. It's true we have both been lazy and preoccupied. Everyone knows how this goes, she is busy with a family to raise and I just spend a lot of time upside down. So what does this all mean?

I think it may be time to make the first New Year's resolution of my life and i challenge Kerri to add it to her what must be an extensive excel spreadsheet of resolutions. We must revive our blog! However in order to do this I want help a little help from my friends. let us know what your reading about, thinking about or are interested in. You all know I am willing to do excessive reseach especially if it means I get to prove a theory wrong. Also know that either one of us may use ideas from interactions from anyone we know for inspiration for the site, hey if you want it to be good and relavant we need material. Also for the sake of comedy I promise to exploit my family also. I also promise to always change names to protect the inocent.

So I'm hoping that you will hear a lot more from me and hopefully Kerri also this year!
Happy New Year!
Rachel

RE: Kerri's Hand Job! God That Sound's Dirty!

2010-02-13T17:31:00.004-06:00

Ok so it's taken me a long time to respond to Kerri's handwriting post. I'm not so quick with these things. But really her title did sound dirty didn't it! I was really expecting something else. Handwriting is a silly, obsolete thing to obsess over. Although i will admit i had no idea how often she actually writes a note. I will have to say in my defence , everything in my life is typed. I'm a nurse, charts are computerized, we use email to communicate among the staff and I can always fall back on text messaging. Then there is my favorite, the phone. I can't remember the last time I actually hand wrote a note that was more then a post-it or signing a card. it's kind of like spelling which has also become obsolete thanks to my good friend spellcheck.
Also Kerri is worried about her bad handwriting. Hers is really no worse then anyone else who went to private grade schools in the 70's and early 80's. What I don't think she remembers is this experiment called the Palmer method. (yes I'm having one of those pointless trivia fits that I get) It was a way of teaching printing and cursive that really didn't work so well. All the letters were very block like and didn't flow into each other very well. Essentially we were all taught to draw our letters. Anyhow the method was a failure and they stopped teaching it but not until after they screwed up a generations' handwriting. So actually Kerri should be proud of her bad handwriting as a sign of surviving a failed teaching experiment in the Chicago Lutheran school system. Just so you all know mine is awful too, I just don't care! So all of you with bad handwriting be proud and don't try to fix it, it's just one more thing to blame on the 70's, like polyester and orange and brown bell bottom pants!

ME

"I want my DDT"

2010-02-07T20:06:00.002-06:00

This post comes from the extremely non-maternal environment of trapeze class. One of my instructors' apartments is currently infested with bedbugs. You all know about these evil little creatures that live in beds and couches and THEY BITE! As in "don't let the bed bugs bite". So this poor circus person was going to have to throw out her bow spring and some of her other furniture do to these nasty little bugs. She wouldn't have to do that though if we could have DDT back. Bedbugs has been eradicated in the US for 50 years thanks to that miracle chemical. 50 bug free bite free years. but it was taken off the market because we have to think of the children, who by now also must be getting bit. This is when someone in the class said the most non-maternal phrase ever "if your kid is so weak that they can be taken out with bug spray maybe it's a problem with your kid and not the DDT". I admit it this cracked me up.

At no point here am I advocating spraying the bug spray on children, that would be cruel and probably considered abuse. But maybe we could compromise by allowing the stronger chemicals to be used in areas where there aren't children. I'd be all for spraying my house with the strongest stuff you could find. I also know that a lot of us grew up in areas where they sprayed for bugs all the time and we lived, hey we may even be stronger for it.

OK I am off my soap box, moms feel free to rip my theory apart
rachel

The lost art of the hand's job

2010-01-02T16:35:00.001-06:00

Thank god the world of cyberspace is all in type because my handwriting stinks. I swear my 5 years old writes nicer than I do. I loathe my handwriting. Always have. I've tried to fix it to no avail. it still looks awful.

I received a christmas card from our neighbor when I dropped off my daughter for her piano lesson. The handwriting on the front was superb. I always notice handwriting only because my own is so poor. My mother has good writing, my sister has good writing. Obviously it's a learned skill and not genetic. I did a quick search today while Paige was playing with some friends on impriving your handwriting. I discovered that I'm a finger writer. I do "draw" letters with my fingers, my hand cramps up often, and I always have to keep lifting my hand to cross a page. I need to learn to write with my arm as the range of motion. I am an "artist" and I draw using my arm muscles so why wouldn't this translate into my handwriting? Largely because of how I was taught in grammar school. Anyway, I found a site that was useful in explaining this and then I also downloaded a pdf of The Palmer Method (long used "back in the day" to teach handwriting).

http://www.paperpenalia.com/handwriting.html>
http://www.iampeth.com/ADOBE_PDFs/Palmer%20Method%201935.pdf

So I'm talking to Rachel as I'm checking this out and she scoffs at me about why I think it's necessary to write anyway? She never writes, everything is on the computer. I'm just so silly trying to actually write things down on paper. How moronic and prehistoric of me. So I tell her that I write all the live long day. With my children showing Paige how to spell words, letters to teaches and friend's parents, correspondence, in my new paper planner (side note: I have switched back to the stone age of a paper planner, it is soooo much better than when I was solely using my computer and phone or pda. See http://www.busybodybook.com/ thanks to my buddy Meg for the tip! http://www.disorder2order.com/)

Anyway, Rachel actually suggested to me that I type my notes and print them out. Can you imagine? Having to type notes and print them to people? My god, that would be so much more effort and I think totally non-personal. Wouldn't you think you got a note from some whack-job mom if it was printed out from the computer? I would.

So obviously in Rachel's children-free world the art of handwriting is being taken over by e-mails and texts. I know this, when I worked it was all electronic. I rarely had to expose my coworkers to my horrible writing. I'm not so out of touch. I'm up to date on all my technology. although i don't have my iphone yet, dammit. Now I more often send an e-mail to friends or play date moms than call. But the occasion often calls for thank-you notes and little asides in school bags to be passed on. It's something I will never be able to avoid.

I'll let Rachel defend herself if she needs to but I think that handwriting is still important and a hand written note is always better than a typed one. I swear I will have nice handwriting some day and when I do I'm sending rachel a nice, long letter saying "I told you so". Love ya rach!

Merry Christmas And Oh Hell Yah Your Crazy!

2009-12-18T23:37:00.003-06:00

Let me describe the elusive item you spent so much time seeking out in the cold in the middle of the night, at least what I understand them to be. A zhu zhu pet is simply an electronic hamster. It's cute, fuzzy, has a lot of accessories, and is this years hot toy. Now the fate of most hot toys is that your child will play with them for six months and then lose interest. Also you have to stand in long lines or go to multiple stores to get one of these.
Now lets compare the zhu zhu pet to another common item, the lowly hamster which has been entertaining kids for generations. A hamster is cute, fuzzy, environmentally friendly since it requires no batteries and will most likely die in six months when your child loses interest in it.
So yes I believe that you are crazy for waiting in line and going through so much trouble to get a fake hamster when you could just get a real one so much easier.
Still even after saying all that I understand the drive to buy your child the perfect toy for Christmas. The definition of that perfect toy is the one that they just won't stop talking about. The one toy that every time they are asked what they want for Christmas it's the first and potentially only thing they say. The toy that they put at the top of every Christmas list and that they tell every mall Santa about. Only then should you as a parent get a free pass to act like an insane person and stand in ridiculous line in the middle of the night to get that toy. Unfortunately I don't think that's what is happening most of the time. Most of the time I think parents are standing in line because they have either bought into the door buster hype, or the advertising hype, or my favorite, the "there is going to be a shortage" hype. Any of the people who have bought into the hype truly are crazy for standing in those insane lines. But, if you just want Santa to be your kids hero, I'm willing to give you a pass on some insanity at this time of year.

Rachel

Mom's View - Black Friday

2009-12-03T14:48:00.004-06:00

Hi all (7 readers)! Happy holidays! it's been a busy time around here. 2 kid's birthdays and Thanksgiving. I still have all my shopping to do even after my attempt at Black Friday shopping. Now let me first say that I have never shopped on black friday but this year I have seen how having a kid will make you do crazy shit. I hate the crowds and I just never cared about getting a deal that much to get up at 4 am to go to a store. The whole concept kind of makes my stomach turn. I mean, people are starving out there but we americans are so materialistic and plagued by consumerism that we actually mob the malls on this weekend to buy buy buy and most people are just throwing it on their credit cards. Duh people! as soon as you pay that interest was the deal really worth it? Enough of that rant. back to topic.

So I never have ventured out on this day, that was until the dawn of Zhu Zhu pets. Arg! These things are driving me crazy. My daughter wants one soooo bad and this is actually a toy that she would play with (proven by the fact that she carries a small hedgehog around with her everywhere she goes and that doesn't even talk). made even worse by the fact that I really like these things too. They are so cute and cheap. only $8! that is if you can find one otherwise they're $25-50 on the web (greedy bastards). I love my daughter so much that I actually decided to go to Toys R Us Thanksgiving night for a chance to grab one of these furry little lovable hamsters.

They were scheduled to open at midnight and they would have zhu zhu's in stock. I live about 15-20 minutes away and figured if I left at 11:00 then I could just hang out in the car until 12. Was I wrong. When I pulled up there was already about 150+ in line! It was about 35 degrees outside. I had on a regular coat with a hoodie, jeans, gym shoes with no socks. Once I was in line I realized I had an umbrella for wind deflection and blankets in my car. But there was no way I was going to give up my place. Within minutes there was another 30 people behind me. By the time the doors opened I was in about the top 5-10% of the line. Now I wasn't feeling so bad about where I was! They were handing out tickets for the big items, zhu zhu one of them. They never came by us and it was 12 so I figured they might be handing them out by the door. Got to the door, saw the manager, and lo and behold they were already gone! How many did they have, like 2? I went in anyway figuring I would pick up my daughter's birthday gifts. Grabbed a few things and the checkout line was all the way at the back of the store. No way was I waiting in line for 30 minutes for spongebob legos. So I left empty handed and exhausted. I cooked all day, cleaned, froze for an hour outside, and went toy shopping. Stupid stupid stupid.

All that being said I can't believe I actually had fun. The anticipation, joking around with my new friends in line, hoping they had the dream toy my little girl wanted. Next year I think I'm going to do it again except this time I'm doing the following:
1) show up earlier
2) bring hot coffee like the person in front of me had (my fantasies of bowling her over and stealing her starbucks could be another post)
3) bring a folding chair and a blanket
4) bring a long list and get all my toy shopping done
5) BRING A FRIEND! to hold my place in line while I run to the car, to watch the cart while I squeeze in an aisle, and for the company.

I was surrounded by other crazy moms and loved it. I won't yet discuss the parents who brought KIDS! really! infants, toddlers and older kids. My god! it was cold and late, I wanted to scream at them "Go home, put your kid in bed!" Not to mention that going to a toy store WITH kids is at the top of my worst activites list - listed after cleaning up dog poo and just before watching my husband clip his toe nails.

Did I mention that my WONDERFUL husband took a little trip by target on saturday and got the last zhu zhu pet they had (15 minutes after opening). He was soooooo proud of himself. He's been putting out scouts as far as Singapore and China and checking with Target on all their delivery days to please his daughter. What a great dad! You should have seen him strutting his "I'm so happy with myself" stuff all day!

So Rachel, do you think we're crazy for going this far to please the little ones and see their smiling little faces on christmas morning light up when they get their biggest wish? oh! and would you go with me next year? I know you're sneaky and conniving. The Perfect Partner!

Our Blog Is Failing Our 7 Followers

2009-08-27T11:33:00.003-05:00

So I signed on today realizing that I haven't posted since June! This is a disservice to our 7 followers. Maybe we will be able to keep up with it now that summer seems to be over. Summer must be over seeing as it isn't even 70 degrees outside today. So i am now going to attempt to make this post my summer wrap up to catch everyone up on where life is at the moment.

Months ago I posted about Wolfgang the super dog who can't be killed by ordinary means. Well he escaped from our yard in late May and is still on the lamb. Rob checks the pound for him regularly but no sign of the little devil. At this point I have to believe someone has taken him in and he is bringing someone else his own special brand of happiness. So much for microchips in dogs working.

I am still attending trapeze class every week which I love. Side effects from that have been increased upper body strength, I'm back to wearing a size 8 jeans, calluses on my hands, bruises on the backs of my knees, bruises on the tops of my feet, one ripped open blister on my hand (no make that 2), and finding out that I can actually climb a rope. However, due to all the strange bruises one of the guys I work with was joking around about me needing the number to a women's shelter.

Another interesting moment of the summer was just this past weekend at Kerri's block party. This so highlights my lack of a maternal instinct (speaking of maternal instinct, if I lost a dog imagine what would happen to a child). In order to get her cute little boy down the block I was waving a bowl of chips in front of him (I use this technique to get my dog into her gated area at night) and then later I referred to him as a puppy. Yep, I have trouble distinguishing kids and puppies.

The final part of this post about me is that I am looking for a new job. I'm bored and annoyed with mine and after I find something else there will be many more entertaining things to post here about my place of employment. But, I refuse to be one of those people you hear about who writes all kinds of things about their job online and then they are surprised when someone they work with sees it and they get fired for it. So any job stories will have to wait for future posts.

Last thing I would like to mention here is my personal medical opinion on Michael Jackson. Not that I particularly liked or disliked him, but this whole death situation has fascinated me from a sick twisted medical perspective. What doctor in their right mind thought you could give someone valium, ativan, versed and then top it off with propofol and then expected their patient to live? That's enough drugs to kill a horse. I truly believe Michael Jackson had insomnia and a lot of people under estimate insomnia and don't treat it enough. But you don't give a person the drugs that you would normally use to knock a person out for say a hip replacement just so they can take a nap. His doctor deserves to go to jail not for killing him, and certainly not for what the police were saying at one point which was "giving drugs to an addict". He needs to go to be prosecuted for stupidity.

So to our 7 blog followers and whoever else happens to read this, happy rest of summer!

RACHEL

I need to blog!

2009-06-30T14:58:00.002-05:00

Arg! Sorry, I know. I know. I really need to blog more. But it's summer and I'm distracted. I really need to join Rachel at the conditioning class. I may go tomorrow. I'll let you know how it goes. I promise.

So I was trolling the internet for a few minutes and came across a website that I like and found some really cool things that I wanted to share. The website is http://modernmom.com/. You can sign up to review products for them if you like. They have a section called "must-haves" with really cool things akin to www.coolmompicks.com. Here's some things I found...

A plate to help you with portion size http://modernmom.com/must_haves/article/3872

A brownie pan that gives every piece edges! http://modernmom.com/must_haves/article/2334

Ketchup that's good for you (my son LOVES ketchup) http://www.krazyketchup.org/home.html.

Another website I like is http://www.sweetiesswag.com/ a place where you can find all things free and complimentary. My favorite right now - a generous free sample of the new Bare Minerals Matte foundation at sephora including a free brush. I like the idea of mineral makeup but never really found one I liked that didn't itch or dry me out or look really really shiny or wasn't even mineral at all. This new one has no bismuth oxychloride which can cause itching and does have some good for your skin ingredients. I personally don't believe that makeup will give you great skin but this looks promising and has uva/uvb spf 15 as well. For moms on the go, brushing on some spf powder that will make your skin look more even is always good!

That's all for now. Talk to ya soon!

- k

Time For A Post Since this Blog is Being Neglected

2009-06-11T01:52:00.002-05:00

So I always joke about have no responsibilities when compared my mom friends. I have a job (that' only 4 days a week) Rob and the dogs. Well obviously that was to much to keep up after because Wolfgang it on the run again. It's been over a week and we still haven't found him. For as evil as that dog is I actually miss him. But losing him made me think. If i can't keep track of a 13 yr old dog maybe it's good that we don't have kids. I'd be running up and down street's with pictures going "have you seen my little boy/girl" it's embarrassing when you doing for a dog. It's gotta be way worse if you don't remember when you left you kid."And now for
something completely different." I went to my first aerial conditioning class today. Unfortunately she actually has responsibilities beyond job, rob, and now 1 dog. After all she has two kids under five, jimmy, and a house to take care of. Oh yeah and she still has 2 dogs. But back to the class. It was 2 hours long. I thought I was going to die during the first 30 minutes which was all straight cardio and ab work. Then it went into some strength training, they used those big ball thingies, the half ball thingy, a scarier more primitive version of a thigh master. shoulder shrugs hanging from the trapeze, assisted pull ups (like i could really do those without assistance). The came the funniest part of the evening. Now I was supposed to climb this silk rope (note for any one who may try this in the future - silk is slippery) so finally at one point I made it about 10 ft up a silk rope and then slid down slowly parallel to the floor until I wound up flat on my back on a crash mat. I was laughing hysterically and had to tell the overly supportive instructor that it was ok for her to laugh too because i knew that i looked like something out of a cartoon. After we completed that it was time to do a little bit of strength and technique work on the trapezes. Mostly it was a lot of was to work your abs while hanging from a bar that eventually preps you to be able to do trick easier. I don''t know about that. All i know is that it was a good workout (I'm somewhat sore already) and i had a great time doing it.
I think everyone who reads this ought to think of something they have always wanted to try. it could be kick boxing, actual boxing, yoga, mat palates (I'd stay away from the machine thing they use, Jen pointed out to me it looks like the torture device they used to use to stretch people and now I can get that out of my head) gym wheel, belly dancing, pole dancing, or zumba. Once you've found something that grabs you attention grab a buddy a give it a shot. worse thing that happens you don't like it and you won't go back. Best thing that happens you could be laughing hysterically at yourself and having a really good time!R. Thursday, June 11, 2009

What aA Beautiful Day For My Car To Be In The Shop!

2009-05-04T17:19:00.004-05:00

Normally when people have to call into work its for being sick. Not me. I had to call in for my car in the shop. Although it's an expensive day off, I can't think of a nicer day the a 70 degree sunny day to not have to go to work. I was able to go on a nice long bike ride around Oak Park and I think I will take my dog for a walk in a little bit. After all she should get out too! So counting this weekend this is the third beautiful day I'm at home.
I have the same problem as Kerri, I get distracted easily which it why I haven't posted recently. I also have been working out like crazy. Trampoline at night and walking on my breaks at work. Also I've been able to start biking on my days off now that the weather is better. But I really don't consider bike rides a true workout. They are also just good stress relief, also I only do that when the whether is nice so it's kind of a bonus for me. Once it gets warmer I can even get a nice tan while doing that. But I forget to blog once my mind is focused on something else.
The only downside to the exercise program. I need new clothes! I put on my cute cropped jeans from last summer and I could pull them off without opening them. This has happened with pants before when I've lost weight and is aided considerably by my lack of an ass! Seriously I could pull them right off, do any of you reading this realize how ridiculous that looks. I didn't even have to do that shimmy type move. One pull and I could de-pants myself. Woman aren't supposed to be able to do that. Oh well, I see a shopping trip in my future after I check the rest of my summer clothes and find out what else I can do that with.
R.

Working out causes brain damage

2009-04-28T10:17:00.002-05:00

What I mean is, when I focus on working out nothing else seem to get done! including blogging. it's like every spare second I have is devoted to trying to squeeze in some exercise and a shower. My brain cannot seem to focus on anything else :) So sorry for the lack of posts lately. I guess this can be considered a short hiatus.. It's been going pretty well. We both have been exercising like addicts and although we can fit in smaller clothes the pounds have not been oozing off like we want them to. I guess it's because we don't have too much to lose and we are building muscle. Whatever! I want to drop like 20 pounds in a week like on biggest loser :) I guess anything worth having is worth waiting for so we'll just keep plugging away at it and hopefully be ready in another month for swimsuit season. Yeah! Spring is here!!! Woohoo!!!!!!

Playground Equipment for Adults!

2009-03-15T20:24:00.002-05:00

(NO THIS POST IS NOT DIRTY)

Well it's Sunday night and after a fun weekend and reading Kerri's recent post
I realize I ought to put something up here.
Yes I have been on board the fitness train with Kerri but sadly I have nothing to blame extra pounds on except for cheese fries and funnel cake. Nothing noble like children. Possibly also doughnuts and M&M's. But i prefer my exercising to be more like things you used to do as a kid. I do a lot of walking, and once it warms up I can't wait to get back on my bike (nothing fancy, it's made by Huffy). But my favorite is my nightly half hour jumping on a mini trampoline. Nothing more to make you feel good then watching bad TV and jumping in you living room. Seriously it's entertaining, easy to get into and requires no special skill.
But my love of playground type things hit a new high on Saturday with the trapeze class. I'm not sure what it is about hanging upside down that I like so much. It was so cool, they taught us how to get on the bar, how to hang from it in some strange ways, how to balance sitting on it. Yes my arms are a little sore today, but really not nearly as bad as I was expecting. The bruises on the backs of my knees, no one warned us about that possibility, but really i just won't rest those against my chair at work for the next day or two. It was so much fun that as soon as Kerri and I were outside we were planning the next time we could go.
So 2 thumbs up on this one folks, I think everyone should give this a try (as long as you have no fear of heights, vertigo, or fear of looking a little silly.) Also if you go wear long pants, I think the bruises would have been worse in shorts!
OK on to the next class.

Ewww, Disney does it again

2009-03-13T16:21:00.003-05:00

Sorry to all you Disney fans, but i don't love Disney movies. I'm not into the princesses. Ok, I lie, Cinderella and Snow White have grown on me. I despise the merchandised movies and the skewed messages they send to young girls. I won't continue this rant and just get on to what I wanted to blog about. Paige is watching The Little Mermaid and it's early on where she whines at her daddy "but I'm 16!". Now I may be in the minority here but I never realized or even thought about how old this little fish was. When I heard 16 I flashed forward to the end where she marries her beloved prince. She is 16! What kind of creepy whacked out cult is King Triton running down there where 16 year olds run off and get married? I was 29 when I got married which I realize is older than usual. I can't believe this escaped my attention for so long. Disney is icky!

Super Fit Mama

2009-03-12T17:52:00.004-05:00

So the time has come. I am done having children. My youngest is 15 months. I have no more excuses for carrying around the last few pounds that prevent me from wearing my "cute jeans".

This is a post about exercise and actually doing it. Now I know some of you moms out there are saying "I have no time" "I work" "I need to watch my stories". Blah blah blah. There is always time for something if you really want it. I worked quite a lot from home when I first had Paige - in the early morning before she woke up, in the afternoon, late at night. If I can find time for that or for watching Grey's Anatomy then I can find time to workout. Great thing about exercising is that it doesn't have to cost you one cent, only commitment and time. I can't think of any other investment in which you get more of a return.

Some people who know me groan when I complain and say I want to lose weight. I'm not really overweight but I'm not as small as I was before my second kid. Things start to spread people and they just don't snap back into place like they used to. I'm not overly concerned about my weight as much as I am about my fitness level. I have lost a lot of muscle tone and I just don't have the stamina to keep up with my daughter like I should. I try to be careful around "ears". I don't want her growing up thinking she has to be rail thin to feel good about herself. I do want to be sure that she gets that this is more about being healthy than anything else. but it's hard to keep this from her because it seems that weight loss and fitness seem to be the #1 topic lately with everyone I know. We all seem to want to accomplish something. My husband is the only one recently who has really set his mind to it and got it done. he has some serious will power...and a really good trainer at his gym. Some days I long for his "bachelor" life. Not having to worry about kids makes it so much easier but still not really easy. I'm sure Rachel can attest that it is still hard to find the time and energy to get it done.

I don't struggle with food, that's never been my problem. But since having kids...wait let me rephrase...since having my second kid I just don't seem to find the time or the energy to do it. and of course there's always the occasional health issue to throw a wrench in out plans. Last year I had a bad 6 months of Thyroid problems which almost destroyed my existence. I had hashimoto's disease and didn't know it for some time because it was pushed off as a possible pregnancy (arggggg!) or hormones. it got really bad. I gained about 10 pounds which isn't much, except for I gained it within 4 weeks time. That was bad. I had a slew of other symptoms that really knocked me out. Constant periods, dry skin, breakouts, drastic hair loss, limbs falling asleep, excessive tiredness, depression, vision deterioration, and towards the end a week long bout of nausea and vertigo. This went on for what felt like forever. At first I thought it was hormones. I had stopped breast feeding and the weight gain in the first month seemed like it could just be that. But just prior to when my thyroid "died" i was feeling really good, exercising, really happy. Anyway we finally figured it out and my endocrinologist could hardly believe I was even able to walk into her office. Now months into using a synthetic hormone I'm starting to feel normal again. Sidenote - if you feel like crap I highly recommend having your thyroid levels tested. it's very common and a lot of doctor's push it off as hormones or "the change".

Despite feeling somewhat normal again my lack of "luster" still plagues me. and I know what it is. the dreaded exercise. So I started my own self proclaimed 30 Day Fit program. This is what I am doing:

I always made the excuse that there is no time. I always felt that I needed at least an hour and I sweat so I always need to shower. to combat this I started with 20 minute intense workouts so I had time to quickly shower. If there was no time to shower I did light cardio. Now as I'm progressing if I can do 40 minutes or an hour that's awesome but if I can only do 20 minutes that's ok too, better than no minutes at all.
I set realistic goals. I only require that I work out 3 days a week. Monday, Wednesday and Friday. On these days I do intense circuit training and have been using the workouts from Jillian Michaels of the biggest loser (complimentary on Comcast on demand). They are awesome. I'm usually a yoga and pilates person so I figure doing circuit training with lots of squats and weights will be a whole new direction for me.
I give myself bonus days of cardio on Tuesday and Thursday. If I can work it in that's great but if I can't then I don't feel like a failed myself.
I gave up alcohol during the week. Cuts out the calories from my wine along with the blocks on cheese I usually ingest along with it.
I weigh in a measure myself at checkpoints. I have never done this and I think it helps make me be serious about getting in shape.
I push myself. I'm a wimp and it's easy for me not to do that last 2 reps in a set. But now I push it and squat a little deeper on that last rep.
I tried to rope a few friends in with me for support. I started sending them bitching bragging e-mails about how much I'm working out and that they should get up off the couch and work out too. If they are reading this - "stop reading ladies and go work out!!!" Rachel has started sending me e-mails about what she's doing to work out which always makes me want to one-up her and bust out a good workout that day.

I started at the beginning of March and so far it has been GREAT. I have worked out each weekday last week and every week day so far this week. My mood has been great, my energy level has gone up and I generally feel good about myself. I'll keep you updated as to how it's going.

One last thing. Another reason I needed to shape up a bit is because Rachel and I are taking a trapeze class this Saturday. Wow, this should be interesting. we promise to blog about it! I think we are planning on doing a fun class to blog about each month. I'm really interested in learning some kickboxing. Stay tuned!

Waiting on the World to Change

2009-02-21T15:11:00.003-06:00

Sometimes I'm reminded how innocent a child can be.

Today we were on the way home from a birthday party. Jak fell asleep and Paige and I were listening to music while she rummaged through her Pump it Up goody bag. John Mayer's song "waiting on the world to change" was on. Paige has heard it a hundred times but she asks me "mom, why is he waiting on the world to change?" At this moment I'm stumped. I've been getting used to answering her constant queries about what things are and what words mean but this one seemed very profound. So I thought for a moment and told her that he was waiting for the other people in the world to understand that being nice is better than being mean. I probably could have thought of a better explanation but this seemed to settle her curiosity because a few moments later she said "hey, where did my Nerds go?". And that was that. She moved on and I'm left thinking - wow she has no idea what's out there and what is waiting for her as she grows older. I can only hope that the world becomes a better place as the years go on. I feel slightly better knowing in my heart that the generations after us do live in a much different mindset than my generation and the ones before me. So enjoy your children now while they are sweet and innocent...well, most of the time!

Stains the Dog

2009-02-20T22:02:00.002-06:00

Hi! It's been awhile. The dreary days of January and February in Chicago have sent me to the pit of despair. I can't wait for spring! I apologize for the lack of posts but really there just hasn't been much to talk about except for...

Stains the dog!

I watched The Soup a few weeks ago and saw the most hilarious clip evah! I finally decided to check our youtube to see if it was there because I deleted the episode from my DVR. Watch it and enjoy. The kids haven't seen it. I'm afraid it will make them frightened of dogs.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uUbsc_a-e3g

Sorry for the Delay

2009-02-19T22:32:00.002-06:00

Sorry for the long pause in posts dear readers. Be assured several posts are on their way!

The dress patterns of nurses

2009-01-16T20:19:00.004-06:00

I was recently reading an old blog of Kerri's friend Cassie who experienced the joy of grown adults in holiday sweaters. Here's a little sample from her post "Was the message somehow passed on to teachers that they must wear the ugliest, brightest and gaudiest sweaters and accessories for every holiday? Is there research out there that says students will learn better if their teacher's attire is crazy bright and busy? It was bad enough for Halloween that almost every teacher (well, usually the ones over 40) walked around for weeks before in orange and black. But now I have seen bad taste gone overboard. Giant snowmen, snowflakes, Christmas trees adorn many a teacher's upper body. One of my superiors was wearing a blood-red sweater with matching tie with Santas on it. How can I take him seriously? "
Well recently the dress code wars have reared their ugly head at my office and I wanted to let Cassie know she was not alone. It isn't just teachers that seem to have gotten some memo to dress in an ugly juvenile fashion. It's also nurses. Once a nurse over 40 is taken out of the hospital and no longer has to wear scrubs their take take on business casual is just horrifying. not only did we go through the ugly holiday top period which I believe Cassie described beautifully, nut we are now back into the usual pattern of dress like your in kindergarten. The ways grown women accomplish this is by wearing turtlenecks with little animals all over them. Or tiny seasonal patterns on the turtle necks, like fall leaves, or little hearts, or snowflakes.
Or when the dress code says no t-shirts they assume it doesn't mean no t-shirts that someone has thrown glitter on. We actually had a woman who came to work one day in coral corduroy pants, I didn't know they made those for people over 10.
Or my favorite happened the other day when on of the old women said to one of the 30 somethings "we have this dress code because your not dressed appropriately when you wear cargo pants". The punchline to this was that the older co-worker was wearing a brown velour track suit with fall colored leaves on the jacket part and she thought her outfit was totally appropriate.
Another thing I really liked was our new dress code had to specify no skorts. Skorts were actually a problem at our office. (By the way skort isn't even in spellcheck which proves people shouldn't be wearing them!) 60 yr old women walking around in floral skorts. I really never thought I would see those again once I was out of grade school.
So just know I too work with the fashion challenged and the next holiday is Valentine's day which is another experience in scary clothing at my office. I wonder if I sneak a camera in if I can get pictures without getting caught. I have to think about that.
R.

Censorship of Classic Songs

2009-01-14T22:51:00.003-06:00

I was driving to work the other day when i heard a song i have always been very fond of "Take A Walk On The Wild Side". They actually eliminated a line from a song that has been on the radio since 1972. After all these years of airplay they now feel they have the write to remove a phrase from the sons. The phrase in question "and she never lost her head even when she was giving head" They eliminated "she was giving head" there are no bad word in that, yes it's sexually suggestive, but the censures approved it in 1972.
So what has changed now. Why is the FCC ruining perfectly good song. If anyone has other experiences of censorship gone wrong I would love to here them.
Hope everyone stays warm!
R

Cute and Evil

2009-01-12T16:39:00.004-06:00

Cute and Evil is the name of the blog that my neighbor and friend, Cassie, writes. Recently she did a post about Juice saving the world. Basically she has started buying juice in frozen concentrate form. It's much cheaper, less packaging, etc. etc. I started doing this based on her suggestion about a month ago and it has been working out great. When I first thought about it I could only imagine orange juice since that was the only thing we drank from concentrate when I was a kid. But I found some yummy flavors at the store - pomegranate/blueberry, Apple/Passion/Mango. There are also plenty of organic juice concentrates too. If only they had V-8 fusion in concentrate. mmmmm. Here's a link to her post. Be sure to check out her recent post about HGTV's dream home as well. Something to think about.
http://cuteandevil.blogspot.com/2009/01/how-juice-can-save-world.html

This challange is just baiting me to insult someone!

2009-01-09T20:24:00.003-06:00

In my opinion there are different levels of breastfeeding in public. There are the women who discreetly feed there infants (emphasis on infant) usually under cover of a loose top or light blanket and I have no problem with that.
There are even those women who feed there infants (emphasis on infant) not so discreetly, say they just whip out the boob and attach the infant. A little disturbing but hey the infant (emphasis on infant) has to eat, so I will say that is fine also.
Then there are the women whose children have teeth and can ask to have mommy's boob. That is unacceptable. Those children need to be eating real food. No one wants to watch a 3 yr old breast feed, that's just wrong. I know there is the "there's no more perfect food then breast milk" argument. But really once you can chew I'm sure there must be a suitable alternative. Also doesn't that hurt once those little suckers can bite.
As far as the big deal on facebook with the photos of the women breastfeeding, that was way blown out of proportion. It's a boob. And here comes the part where I offend people. We don't object to photos of cows being milked.
Now that I have probably offended everyone that reads this I will thank Kerri for bringing up this topic and have a goodnight.
R.

Challenge Topic - Public Display of Mammary Glands

2009-01-09T15:26:00.004-06:00

Talked to a friend today. She is pregnant with her second child. With each pregnancy she gets Weezy Jefferson boobs. Her quote - "Cool thing is that they stand up on their own. Bad news- can't put my arms down." I thought this was priceless. Good thing she's a funny girl and has a sense of humor.

This reminds me of a topic I've been wanting to blog-challenge Rachel on for a long time. I'll post my feelings on the subject later. What's the subject you ask?

Breastfeeding in public. enough said. Rachel, your thoughts?

p.s. I found an article that there was some kind of hubbub on Facebook about a picture of a mom breastfeeding. Facebook is taking over!
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/28433838/

Best and Worst Toys of Christmas 2008

2009-01-05T23:42:00.005-06:00

So I thought I would do a quick post of some of our toys from 2008. Both kids got a ton of stuff and it's like being a kid again because I get to play with it too! There was so much I can hardly remember it all. I'm sure I'll be editing this list as I see something I totally forgot about.

Most engaging toy award goes to - Vtech Helicopter. Jimmy got this from my aunt and he plays with it for hours. Of course it makes tons of noise so be prepared.

Most fun we can't have with yet toy - The Butterfly House. A pop-up tent in which you watch larvae pupate into butterflies. You send away for the larvae, watch them build a chrysalid and then hatch. Of course we can't do this until spring when we can release them. Of course we could do it now and let them live in the house and then watch them wither and die in 2 weeks but that wouldn't be too much fun for the kids.

Most wished for toy - Wowee Alive cub. Very cute and kinda cool. Paige would not stop talking about this cub. That being said she doesn't play with it as much as I thought she would.

Most branded toy - Tinkerbell and pixie hollow EVERYTHING!

Everything old is new again toy - Our old Kitchen set which I moved from the office into the corner of our living room, now both kids play with it all day!

Worst toy ever - Tinkerbell Pixie Dist Magic Arrival Playset - UG! where do I start? First I guess, sorry to Grandma because she is the one who bought this. The gimmick is that you put glue on Tink's wings (you get 4 sets), then you place her in the "pod" and shower glitter down upon her and her wings. First, the glue runs everywhere even if you let it dry to tacky for a while. Then the glitter WILL NOT come down no matter how much you pump. We ended up just doing it by hand and the glitter is super fine so it gets everywhere. Today Paige showed me her tink and how all the glitter fell off of one of the wings already. She was really disappointed but I think playing with the glitter in her hands made up for it. Steer clear of this one. there are better fairy toys out there if you kid is into this latest Disney craze.

Best "toy" not used for it's intended purpose - Tinkerbell Fancy Pajama outfit Paige uses for dress up instead of for sleeping. nice and cozy instead of itchy like most of the play dresses are. Tip - get old pajamas from friends or yard sales for dress up. They're just as good and much more comfortable not to mention cheaper.

Best toy mommy had more fun with than Jak - Fisher Price Clipo. He loves this, throwing the pieces, carrying them around, snapping a few together. But I love building things with it and Paige loves playing with it too. The set we got even comes with 2 heads so you can build people.

Toy I can't wait to start buying for my kids as they get older - anything from the Discovery Store - Science is cool man!

Toy list would not be complete without mentioning - My Little Pony Ponyville toys (which go along perfectly with Polly Pocket and Littlest Pet Shop)

Last, the moms out there really need the link below. It's a service that will email you information for any recalled item out there, not only toys. I get an e-mail whenever there is some rogue toy out there harming small children. It's a great service and every parent should sign up so they are aware.
https://www.cpsc.gov/cpsclist.aspx

A New Year = A New You?

2009-01-05T23:13:00.006-06:00

Yikes! Rachel has been running amok hasn't she? That's ok, I always enjoy the ravings of a mad lunatic. Strangely enough her latest post doesn't surprise me. I get calls from her all the time with tales of odd happenings or just things dumb people do. The home cremation still may have shocked me a bit. But I will file that in my need to know file in case I ever need it. You can never be too prepared.

So I'm blogging late into the night because I have to before Rachel strikes again. As long as I'm in bed by midnight I should be ok. Which makes me think of coffee. Throughout my life I never drank coffee and I didn't depend on caffeine for a pick-me-up. I was just usually able to muster up energy all on my own. I never understood people when they had to have their coffee and couldn't live without it. Then I had children and I tried coffee. I must applaud my friend Amy for my first taste of a cappuccino one night at her house. It was delicious and I talked late into the night leaving her and her husband yawning because I was so wound up from it. Now I drink 1 cup every day. I need it and I crave it. Not only for a little boost but because I savor my coffee time. When I have coffee I sit down and relax for a bit. I might talk on the phone with a friend, watch the kids play, read a magazine. as long as it's not work. I now highly recommend coffee to my mommy friends. and if you don't drink coffee then try to find something else like a cup of tea, a crossword or sudoku (I love both), whatever you can do for a few minutes each day to just stop and relax for even a short moment. mmmm coffee. Can't wait for my coffee tomorrow.

I don't know about you readers but I'm thrilled for tomorrow and the tomorrow after that and the whole new year. I'm feeling good and hopeful and energized. My biggest thing this year is "No more waste". meaning time, money, whatever. I have a lot to do that I have been putting off for some time and this is my year to put behind the old list and get on with some new stuff. Including but not limited to blogging more. I sometimes wonder though about resolutions. Why do we feel the need to change ourselves or promise to change ourselves every year? Weren't we fine just as we were? Nope apparently not. I'm always trying to improve something and I hope this does not rub off negatively on my children. I think it's great to want to constantly progress but I think we do that at the price of appearing that we are then never good enough. So what can I do? Sorry readers but I don't think I have the answer to that just yet. Maybe I'll tackle it and say I'm "learning" or "trying something new". That seems more positive. I'll let you know.

2008 Kerri was not so bad but I sure do miss 2002 Kerri. She was at her best! and 1996 kerri was totally awesome. I hope 2009 Kerri is cool. Happy new year!!!

I'm not being watched

2008-12-30T00:12:00.005-06:00

It has to be said that I have posted three, now four, blog entrees since Kerri's last one. That means I am totally unsupervised and I can say whatever I want, she isn't watching.
Since I was talking about end of the year lists in my last post but that one got way too serious I thought I would lighten the mood with MSN's 20 stranger than fiction stories of the year and point out my favorites.
I like #1 about the woman who sat on her boyfriends toilet for 2 years just for the ick factor, and the fact that no one thought this was odd enough behavior to call someone for 2 years.
#3 mans coffin kills wife on the way to the cemetery. To summarize there was a car accident and the coffin was pushed forward and hit her in the back of the neck killing her. The best part of this story is that the hearse was being driven buy the dead person's son. He needs a Darwin award.
#6 family cremated mom on barbecue. Not exactly it was more of a fire pit and then they planted a tree on the site. Home cremation could become popular if the economy keeps tanking.
#15 This is the Goldilocks robber. A man was charged with burglary after he allegedly broke into a home, ate cheese from the refrigerator, made a mess in a bathroom and fell asleep on a child's bed.
#17 Rescue crews had to cut apart a portable toilet to rescue a man who got stuck naked inside the potty. Authorities say the 31-year-old man used his cell phone to call 911 on Sunday from inside a portable toilet.
Police say the man had been drinking and had taken off his clothes. Somehow, he immersed himself in the holding tank. He also needs a Darwin award.
So those are my favorite off the list. I hope they brought a smile to your face. I think the one about home cremation will have Kerri monitoring my posts more closely.
Have a day and a Happy New Year!
R.

Merry Christmas!

2008-12-25T19:10:00.005-06:00

Merry Christmas to all and Happy New Year! Since we are coming to the end of another year I've begun to notice that every newspaper, website, radio station, and TV stations are making lists. Lists of the bests, worsts, most popular, things we will never see again (like zima which I think everyone is happy about).
So because I have entirely to much time to spend on the internet I've been looking at these lists and one thing on one list really screamed out at me. On Newsweek's website the 8th most viewed story of the year was an article about how ugly crocs are. For anyone who lives under a rock crocs are those rubber dishwasher safe shoes not large reptiles. It doesn't bother me that this article was written, it doesn't bother me that there are a lot of people who want to defend their right to wear dishwasher safe shoes. Like this one who must really like her crocs
"I read this article on the paper Newsweek, and I was disgusted. Newsweek, I can't believe you published this offensive and self-centered article. Very disappointing. If you hate crocs, don't buy them, ignore them, or just write about your hatred on your little blog. Don't just attack them on a world-wide, influential and renowned publication like that" To write something this serious about a pair of shoes this person must have stock in the company.
No matter what you think of the footwear the sad thing is that this article was viewed more times then almost anything else on Newsweek's website this whole year. The few articles that beat is included the Obama election and the religious fanatics in Texas. After it was an article on the religious case for gay marriage and the american girl who committed murder in Italy. These articles sound more important to me but they were not read as many times as the fashion article.
So here is my idea. Next year perhaps we can all try a little harder to read the actual news articles on the web sites in addition to the ones that are funny and maybe we can avoid this happening again. Thank you for your co-operation and Merry Christmas.
R.

Continued Moms - Can't live with them, can't tie a cement block to their legs and throw them in the lake

2008-12-21T14:53:00.002-06:00

My mom called back. So I asked if she wanted to be discussed on our little blog and Kerri would you believe her answer was "No, because I'm afraid what the two of you might say". Ha at least she included you also.
have a day!
R

Moms - Can't live with them, can't tie a cement block to their legs and throw them in the lake

2008-12-21T14:18:00.003-06:00

Kerri I think this is a problem unique to you. I'm pretty sure my mom doesn't want me talking about her on this site. Just to be sure I'm gonna ask. Pick up cell phone *ring* *ring* *ring* voicemail. Crap I have to try later. I'm pretty sure her answer is going to be along the lines of - God you better not be writing about me where everyone can read it, have you lost your mind. But I will get back to you with an exact quote.
As far as at home dog grooming goes I feel the need to mention that I have had the doggy dremmel for almost 2 months now and Wolfgang seems to have no problem with it and Nikki believes it to be an alien device sent to kill her. I still can't get near her feet with it turned on. I hope your having better luck at your house Kerri.
R.

Mommy Dearest

2008-12-19T20:52:00.005-06:00

Hello readers. I was on the phone chatting with my mom the other day and she mentioned she sent the link for this blog to some of her friends mostly so they could see pictures of the kids (I attached some recent pics of the kids just for her enjoyment). During the conversation she mentioned that she was sad because I never talk about her in my blog posts. I guess I was trying to spare her feelings :) but if she wants me to talk about her and she requested it then I feel she is now fair game. Hey, she asked for it. Seriously, what mother in her right mind actually requests her daughter to talk about her? Does she think I'll blog about how super wonderful she is and how she hasn't aged in years? Doubt it. So be warned mom (I know you're reading this) everything you now say or do can be potential fodder for my blog. muah hahahahahaha. Let me explain how crazy she can be. Just now as I'm writing she called and I told her I was writing about her request to be written about. She then begins to tell me about pictures I can include and things I can say about her. She actually trying to dictate my potential mom posts. She really does want me to turn this into a blog about her. Hey, just hold your horses there lady - Get your own blog!

On another note...I found a link for the word of the day on merriam-webster online. Today's word is undulant • \UN-juh-lunt\. What a lovely word. Rising and falling in waves. in contrast the word of the day for the new york times is progenitor. perfect for a blog about my mom. Progenitor \prō-ˈje-nə-tər, prə-\ · (noun) 1 a : an ancestor in the direct line : b : a biologically ancestral form.

Coming soon, a post about grooming my dogs myself. an adventure in torture and humiliation. to be posted in Rachel's honor for all dog moms out there.

peace out,
k

Paige is doing yoga in the background

just thought the world should meet my favorite dog

2008-12-18T22:59:00.005-06:00

This is my tough dog Nikki under her favorite Christmas quilt. She loves it so much that she will stay in this position for hours. I really have nothing interesting to say at the moment. I'll write more when i do

Birthday Parties

2008-12-09T15:18:00.003-06:00

Wow! Sorry readers, it's been a long time since our last post. Personally I have been uber-busy with the usual and in addition both of the kid's birthdays. Jak just turned 1 and Paige turned 4. Let's just say that when you have 2 kids' birthdays within 10 days of each other it's like the birthday party that will never end. Cake on one birthday, a holiday, a party, cake on another birthday, a party. Paige has no clue that her birthday really is only one day :)

I would like to talk about birthdays. As a friend and reader, Emily, wrote,
"Oh PLEASE tell me you will write about children's b-day parties. Is it me or are there a lot of people out there who think that their little angel's 3rd b-day necessitates a party with engraved invitations where you make people who only see you quarterly hang out at "go Bananas" until you want to "go postal"?

I will admit, we had a big party for Paige's 1st birthday at a pizza banquet room. Mostly because we simply could not fit everyone in our house. It turned out looking much fancier than it actually was. I really got my money's worth. Poor Jak did not get the same treatment. the second kid really does get the shaft. Anyway since then I have had one other actual "party" for Paige and that was last year at our local Park Rec center. I did it because Jak was just born and I wanted her birthday to feel special and not like she was forgotten because of a new baby. So this year I thought hmmmm I'll just have a little party at home with pizza and cake, no big thing just a get together, a joint party for both kids. Boy, am I crazy! Let's just say that no party with just friends and family is ever small. It was a great time and I'm glad we did it but I have decided that now there will be no big parties except on the "big birthdays". It's too much with both birthdays so close and thanksgiving and christmas thrown in there too. This was my first year with both kids having birthdays so I guess it's a learning curve. Even though it was crazy, it was fun. Paige loved every minute and Jak was totally thrilled with all the attention. Note to self - make the kids happy but don't go crazy doing it!

Since we usually have our neighbor buddies over for cake on the actual birthday from now on we will just do that and maybe a play date with the closest friends. I think that was my favorite part of the birthday madness this year. I did a small tea party after school with her class buddies (as a mom suggested) just have a few friends, more like a play date. Tiny sandwiches and snacks and treats, apple juice in tea cups. Lots of "please" and "thank you ma'am", so super cutie!

The worst thing about a big birthday party every year is that you really are setting the bar pretty high early on. People go to great lengths now for fantastic parties at fun places. If I did that every year what is my kid going to expect on her 10th birthday? A private circus show with gifts for everyone and a 8 tier cake? I just can't keep up with it. I have seen it getting really competitive. So who are we having these parties for, the kids or us? I know they enjoy it but let's be serious, don't kids like just about any kind of attention? I know my kid would be just as happy with a few of her friends as she would be in a big party.

I say all this now and I know the readers with older kids are saying "just you wait, just you wait until your kid is whining for that super expensive cell phone/ipod/navigation/book-reader/bottle-opener and huge party at some fancy place because all her friends are doing it". Ug, I guess I'll just wait and hope for the best!

The Squirrels Have Declared War!

2008-11-12T13:53:00.007-06:00

I'm an indoor kind of person. I don't camp, I don't go walking in the forest preserves, I do not feel the need to be outside infringing on the space of wildlife. So why do they feel the need to infringe on mine. There are three places that I consider to be my space, my car, where I work and my home. It's bad enough that lately on the way to and from work I have had to deal wit suicidal deer who stand a foot or two off a busy street and look like they could jump out at any moment. But I am once again under attack from squirrels.

This is not the first time these fuzzy tailed rats have staged an attack on me. Two years ago after Rob put the air conditioners in I woke up to a loud crash in my house. When I came out of the bedroom there was a squirrel staring up at me from my dining room floor. It took two of us to chase the little flea infested devil out of the house. But this seemed like one isolated sneak attack from a rogue squirrel.

Now it seems that the fluffy tailed rats have declared war. About two weeks ago I was trying to walk from my car into my office and this brave little squirrel got between me and the exit of the garage and refused to move. Eventually I managed t sneak past him after several minutes of evasive maneuvers. Then yesterday a kamikaze squirrel crashed into our dining room window. At this point I should have known something was terribly wrong. Today one of the little rats has once again infiltrated my homes perimeter. I went to take my dogs outside this morning and a squirrel was on my enclosed back porch. It's sudden movements scared me and brought out the instinct to chase small game in the larger of my two dogs.

Since the squirrels have started this fight I see no other option then to retaliate. I don't see it as an unreasonable request that I give these animals the entire outside world and all I ask in return is that they don't come inside. I now need to find a way to remove the squirrel from my home either by humane or inhumane ways since I have very little sympathy for the flea infested possibly rabid little animal who started this fight. If anyone has any suggestions for squirrel removal please let me know. If no good suggestions come soon I feel I will need to go to extreme measures. Thanks in advance for any help that you may be able provide in this squirrel war.

No serious topics...just a Wordle

2008-11-11T22:41:00.006-06:00

So I was actually working on jewelry and paused for a moment to check my e-mail and close down the computer when I happened upon a Wordle. A product from a cool website http://www.wordle.net/. It takes any text you paste in or feed from your blog and creates a "wordle". A graphic image of your words. I created a few using text from previous posts. It randomizes the content and you can further tweak it if you like. I did not purposely put the words "ass" and "jim" right by each other in the wordle above. It did that. Sorry honey.

Also, I just couldn't help myself. I did another wordle using an excerpt from a monumental speech given not so long ago.

"And to all those who have wondered if America’s beacon still burns as bright – tonight we proved once more that the true strength of our nation comes not from our the might of our arms or the scale of our wealth, but from the enduring power of our ideals: democracy, liberty, opportunity, and unyielding hope.

...

This is our chance to answer that call. This is our moment. This is our time – to put our people back to work and open doors of opportunity for our kids; to restore prosperity and promote the cause of peace; to reclaim the American Dream and reaffirm that fundamental truth – that out of many, we are one; that while we breathe, we hope, and where we are met with cynicism, and doubt, and those who tell us that we can’t, we will respond with that timeless creed that sums up the spirit of a people:
Yes We Can. Thank you, God bless you, and may God Bless the United States of America."

Comment re: dog suicide attempt

2008-11-06T14:52:00.001-06:00

See, Rachel's house is not even dog proofed much less child proofed, another reason she does not have children :)

Wolfgang the amazing dog that can't be killed by ordinary means!

2008-11-06T14:28:00.006-06:00

I'm home from work today because my car broke down and Rob is nice enough to be fixing it. But that is not important. What is important is that my dog Wolfgang apparently survived another suicide attempt!
Some background on Wolfie for anyone who isn't familiar. He was half price at a pet store when he was six months old because he was already a 10lbs Pomeranian, which is huge. He is now 13yrs old and 16lbs. He is beautiful and fluffy and he bites. He bites me, he bite our other dog Nikki who is 4 times his size, he has bitten my brother, snapped at little children, he's a rotten dog, and Rob loves him. This dog is also too mean to die. He has gotten his head stuck in a radiator, chewed a razor, ate several packs of cigarettes, frequently eats chocolate, drank an entire jack and coke then fell over and passed out in our living room, drank a guests glass of wine, knocked several teeth out trying to bite me through his crate, escaped into the west side of Chicago for a month and was found in excellent condition, and ate rancid ham.
So what was the new suicide attempt after all of this that would even be worth mentioning you may be wondering? He tried to hang himself. Yep, he has now survived hanging. (Damn it, he really will live to be 20.) Rob took him to the local coffee shop yesterday, this is their normal pattern, and when he went inside he tied Wolfgang to the chair outside. Not on the ground mind you because according to Rob Wolfgang normally sits on the seat of the chair and waits for him. Well yesterday he jumped. Of course there wasn't that much slack in the leash and his paws barely hit the ground as the choke chain tightened on his neck. Wolfie is fine after this, no harm done, but Rob is babying him even more, he tucked him in on the couch surrounded by pillows when he went to the store today.
So Wolfgang truly will live forever in spite of himself and in spite of Rob. I hope this brightens every one's day!

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

2008-11-03T22:38:00.005-06:00

Hey everyone. I'm posting because Rachel is threatening to put up a 3rd post before I can get one in...and then the earth shall cease to revolve and we will all wither away. So here I am. I'm going to briefly talk about Halloween. not too much to say. Awesome weather, lots of fun, a really great time. I have been eating candy for 4 days straight. eeehhhhh. Now to the topic at hand. catching some zzzzz's. I was talking to a good friend today and realized how important sleep can be. I'm one of "those" people that's bright and shiny most of the time but catch me when I have had little sleep or I'm hungry and watch out. I'm pure evil straight outta hell. As a parent I have realized that sleep is probably the thing other than total spontaneous sex that I miss deep down to my bones. Oh my god I miss it! It has been 4 years since I was able to go to bed as early as I want, wake when I want, nap when I want. I'm not saying I don't get enough. I do okay. my kids are really good nappers and sleepers (except for baby Jimmy who has been a tool for the past 3-4 weeks since he started walking. I hope it passes SOON). most times I'm up till 1am trying to get all the things done that I want to do, like blog. In the morning it's straight into the day. You can't lay around. there are mouths to be fed, animal and otherwise. There is no rest for the weary. I don't think this is news to any of you readers. you've probably heard it so many times before. And I'm so extremely super jealous of my childless friends that can sleep till 11 on a Sunday if they choose. Not that they do but they can.

what become so clear to me today is how much losing some sleep can totally affect every other thing going on. Really truly mess with your emotional state. make you cranky. not have enough energy to do the things you want to do so then you feel even worse because you're getting nothing done including sleeping. You feel like crap because you have bags under your eyes and it reminds you of how hot you used to be before the sleep stealers shot out of your womb. Or your thyroid takes a crap on you and then life REALLY sucks (more on that some other time).

But what can really be done? The early child rearing years will be and are some of the most wonderful years of my life but they are also the hardest. They take a toll. I'm always last on the list of the person who gets the attention in my house. and I think it goes - baby, daughter, dad, dogs and THEN me. Then again, I created this scenario and the reason is most likely because I'm the only one in my household who can take such abuse and still love everyone and put on a happy face. It's much easier for me to do without than for Jim who has to go to work everyday and run a business or my children to not have the things that I think they need. the good news is that this too shall pass and as the saying goes, some day I'll wish my kids would need me.

and I truly hope that Jim can see past my bitchiness and realize that if he just let me sleep in this Sunday he would truly benefit. wink wink. happy wife = happy life.

what I really want to say is "Hey, childless friends/relatives/concerned citizens, get your ass over to my house so I can take a frick'en nap!" teehee

Dear childless readers, please hit the snooze button just one more time for me. I'll just dream of sleep and maybe try to not do the dishes or run one last load of laundry and go to bed. and with that I say good night.

Maybe Kerri Is Right And Silence Is Golden

2008-11-03T00:34:00.003-06:00

So today I was over at Kerri's house working on the jewelry project. I think things are coming along quite nicely so far. We went to a bead store with Paige which included the phrase "don't touch" a lot. But it was still a successful trip. The problem was after we got back to Kerri's house. So picture this, it's getting close to dinner time and Kerri is cooking. I am trying to look some things up on the internet and then I hear a baby Einstein DVD on a loop, because the viewing part is over it is stuck on the start screen. It's playing the same song over and over. Layer that noise with one of the children riding on a push car thing that has a popcorn popper thing on it. Also add in the other child pushing a toy car that sounds like a machine gun while it moves. On top of all this background noise Paige is attempting to carry on a conversation with anyone who will listen to her and the little boy is carrying on a conversation with himself. I feel the need to point out here that they weren't being bad kids, they are actually great kids, but they are still kids. So I decide I need to get away from the noise so I go outside for fresh air. Bad idea. A church not far from them has some bells going off but they aren't typical bell they play a whole song, those things were going for 5 minutes. This is total chaos as far as I'm concerned. I'm sure all of you parents reading this are going "ahh, typical day". Well not typical for me. By this point I am twitching, if people wouldn't think I had totally lost it I would sit down suck my thumb and rock. If there is too much noise in my house I either turn off the T.V. or ask Rob to turn down what he is working on. As you can tell I'm used to quite being very easy to achieve. I would like to end this with a compliment to all of the parents that you have much stronger ears then I do and you need to be applauded for that. I also wish all of you parents at least 15 minutes of silence a day because I'm sure you need it. I will continue to live in my quite and easy to control environment which doesn't make me twitch only venturing out as needed into the world of children. And to Paige and little Jimmy if you ever read this when you grow up if by some chance this internet stuff really is around forever, I'm sorry I'm picking on you but your the kids I see the most.

Happy Halloween!

2008-10-31T18:52:00.004-05:00

Hello to all of you parents who are reading this. I want to try to put your minds at ease before you go rummaging through your children's candy or even worse bothering to have it x-rayed. There is only 1 reliable, traceable Halloween candy death in the country and it wasn't from a stranger. "Timothy O'Bryan of Houston, Texas actually did die in 1974 after eating a Pixie Stick laced with cyanide on Halloween night. Which is true, but the kicker is that investigators determined that the candy was poisoned by O'Bryan's own father, who, unbelievable as it seems, hoped to collect on a life insurance policy he had taken out on his son." This is according to Newsweek. (and yes I double checked it with snopes just to be sure)
Now when people are confronted with a news article confronting the whole Halloween candy hoax they post things like this. "When I was a child in the late 60's and early 70's there were many instances in my home town of Battle Creek, Michigan, where strangers had embedded needles, razor blades and broken glass in fruit that was given away on Halloween. There were even more cases of people injecting soft candies with LSD, Heroin and Hash Hish. Kids I knew personally were victims of this insanity. That is when hospitals in Michigan began offering to x-ray Halloween candy" (just to let you all know, I do not correct the spelling of the people I quote, I want you to see them in their full and brilliant glory) I like this post, it tries to be credible with a place and approximate time, and it goes the extra step of adding drugs into the candy. However all they mention is the glass and drugs as the reason for doing x-rays on candy, but neither of those show up on and x-ray so we know this person isn't that bright.
I do however like this Dr who was interviewed by a San Francisco newspaper when asked how to avoid tainted candy "You need to look through all the candy before the kids eat any of it. If it has any Chinese lettering on it, toss it." Notice he says nothing about if they got candy from strangers or looking for sharp objects, just Chinese writing.
So all of you let your children eat their candy and get a good sugar buzz going. Know that the candy is safe as long as it isn't Chinese. And Have a Happy Halloween

Picture additions for previous post from kerri

2008-10-23T13:27:00.006-05:00

A picture of my husband Jim hogging the only recliner in Paige's room at Children's Memorial.

A couple pictures of Baby Jimmy in some shirts I made for him. Cool boys clothes are hard to come by unless you pay a fortune for them.

I'll call him Jak or baby chub-chub so as not to confuse him with my Hubby Jim.

Last, a sample of Rachel's work. I'm working on the website and once it's up and running and I have some jewelry there too, I'll let ya know.

Camping, Surgery, and Jewelry OH MY

2008-10-22T23:12:00.012-05:00

Sorry readers, it has been awhile since our last post. It's been busy. Warning - this is going to be a LONG post to catch up.

Let's start first with the topic of Camping...with children. My husband and I like to camp and used to do it often. Needless to say, we had not camped yet with children until a few weekends ago. We did "camp" once this summer in our backyard. One of my friends invited us to camp with them and several other families up in Wisconsin. Longing for something to do since the weatherman said we were bound for some last days of warmth, I eagerly accepted. Totally forgetting that Saturday night was my wedding anniversary. My husband was a little surprised when I said I would be fine camping instead of a fancy dinner (OH MY GOODNESS, who have I become!). Anyway, geez, 2 days of camping requires 4 additional days - 2 for prep and 2 for cleanup. I swear I think I packed the whole house because Baby Jimmy is only 11 months and requires a lot of crap. He had just started walking (more on that in another post) before we left so the pack-n-play (which I never used for Paige) was a MUST to keep him contained. Jim couldn't get up there until after us because he had to work so it was even more fun packing up all that junk, dropping off the dogs at grandma's, and getting set up all by myself. Despite all the work, it was a great time! Who knew my kids could spend so much time just rolling around and laughing in a tent?

The weather was awesome, mid-80's during the day and surprisingly not very cold at night. I was worried Baby Jimmy would be too cold but he was just fine and toasty. I got to snuggle up with him and Paige on an air mattress while my drunk hubby snoozed on the floor.

The downside to camping with children - when you camp without children it's dirty and grungy but not too "germy". Well kids makes it all different. They pee on their feet behind the tent or droop their underwear on the floor of the public washroom . UG! They're dirty and stinky and they don't care! I felt like I had to sanitize everything when we got home. ick.

The good side - Fresh air, good conversation, campfires and cuddles, watching Paige's eyes when she saw a real live stick bug someone had caught running up their leg. Seeing a snake and hearing her say, "snakes aren't scary, I learned all about them at school". Setting up our tent with just me and Paige (no daddy there yet) and realizing how proud she felt to do something which to her is was such a monumental task. Watching her offer her buddy Trea her prized glow stick so she wouldn't be scared in the dark tent and then laying with her buddy until she fell asleep. Snuggling with Jak (baby Jimmy) and watching him go up and down the air mattress as if he conquered a mountain. Wishing everyday could be so simple. Meeting new people and enjoying their company. Seeing the spectacular fall colors up north. and best of all was having some time with my husband without any home or work distractions.

Everyone there was awesome, friendly, and down-to-earth. Even though it was a bit of work, it was totally worth it! Can you believe I forgot my camera??!! Doh!

So right after I got my breath back from cleaning up from camping it was time for the S word, SURGERY. Paige had to have some minor surgery to remove a spot (nevus) and a dermoid cyst on her head. Neither was life threatening but they needed to be taken off and she needed to be put under anesthesia to do it. We went to Children's Memorial in Westchester and I couldn't have been happier with my choice. The surgeon was great and the staff made her feel so comfortable. Up to the date we talked with her about it and made sure she understood what was going on, but not enough so she got anxious. I was pretty careful not to let her see me get nervous, because if I'm nervous then so is she. And as long as she understood what was going to happen, she was fine. An amazing thing about kids, they are much more resilient than adults. She couldn't eat since midnight the day of the surgery and she never once complained. As they prepped her she never cried or was scared, she was way too enthralled with the hospital. She was absolutely amazing. Even as they wheeled her away she was ok in the hands of her nurses. We had to wait about an hour and a half before it was over. In that time I got to read a newspaper in quiet for the first time in years.

Finally they came to tell us she was done and everything went just as expected. I said I was fine right? Well I was up until we went to her room and she was in her gurney down the hall. As they starting wheeling those big brown eyes towards me and I just LOST it. I totally cried I was so happy to see her little smiling face. She was so sweet and vulnerable in the moment. all groggy from the anesthesia and bundled up in a warm blanket. I was so happy and proud of her being so brave. There are times in a mom's life when they love their kids and then there are times when you love them so much you feel like your heart is going to burst from it all. This was one of those moments.

We were able to go home shortly after and she was doing well, eating a bit and then a few hours later she spiked a 104.3 degree fever. She totally went downhill. The next few days are a bit blurry. Basically, she had a fever for several days and she starting vomiting the next night. After rounds on the phone with her surgeon and her pediatrician we deduced that she most likely had a cold brewing and the taxing nature of the surgery really made it hit her hard. Baby Jimmy came down with a stuffy nose the day she went in. She was probably vomiting from a virus or perhaps because she had a fever and had barely eaten anything for 2 and a half days. I had to take her to the doctor's office where they found she had an ear infection (her first ever). We started some antibiotics and by that night she was feeling a bit better and eating some soup. It's now almost a week later and today was her first day back at school. She still a bit sluggish but definitely much better. At least she gets that she feels like crap because of the cold and not the surgery. I don't want her to be terrified of doctors and in therapy someday :)

It was so hard watching her just lay there totally out of it, sleepy, hot, but most of all quiet. Much too quiet. Poor baby Jimmy kept trying to make her laugh but she was just too sick and too pooped. Anyway she's on the mend and playing with her brother again, which makes him very happy. she is one of his favorite people of course.

Here are a few pics from before. One of the staff members came and we showed Paige what everyone would look like in the surgery with their hats and masks on. We showed her how you can see someone is smiling in their eyes even when you can't see their mouth behind the mask. Then we let her put them on, she loved it. More accessories!

Last jewelry. So I may have mentioned Rachel and I are venturing in the hand crafted jewelry
biz. Darn her! she's cranking out the stuff like a machine and I've barely made a bracelet! Let's remember she has no children. BIG difference! I've been staying busy doing things I can do while the kids are up. messing around on the computer for ideas, starting up the website, and tonight working with Rachel on a lighting and photo system (more on that later). Part of my problem is I have so many things I want to make and some of them aren't even jewelry. Or to make them I need to invest money for the materials. It's hard for me to just pick a few things and get going. I want to do it all and now! But that attitude gets nothing done. So I sit and see the Rachel-machine go and dream of a life where I can sit and craft in peace for hours. Hey, I can dream can't I?

OK that's all I can blog for now. It's almost midnight and I'm tired. I'll try to blog some more in the next few days. hopefully some more inspiring posts and not just the hum-drum of my life. Camping, surgery, and jewelry is so mundane! Teehee! k

Silence is Golden

2008-10-09T10:08:00.004-05:00

Yesterday was Paige's first day of "enrichment". What this means is that after her pre-school class she stayed for "lunch bunch" and then had a cooking class where they made mud pie with worms, learned how to use a whisk, read books and did a craft project. She loved it! Anyway, she was gone most of the day and it was just baby Jimmy and I. The house was so quiet and peaceful. Which made me start thinking about silence.

There are times at meals when Paige will just talk and talk and talk and talk. I have actually said to her "will you please just be quiet for 5 seconds, please". I wonder where she gets it from? hmmmm. Any of my friends will tell you that I like to talk, a lot. I enjoy socializing and chit chatting. But boy can this be a bad thing. Sometimes I don't know when to just be quiet, stop talking, keep my opinions to myself. I think it stems a lot from the fact that I cannot handle silent pauses during conversation. I have to fill every gap with words.

So from now on I vow to listen to my own demands to my daughter and just be quiet. Maybe I'll fill the void by blogging more. Maybe in that silence I'll hear the answers to the universe, or maybe I'll just fall asleep, we'll see.

Reply to "water"

2008-10-09T09:23:00.004-05:00

Let's not forget that juice is filled with all sorts of goodies like antioxidants, polyphenols, etc. So juice is good, just not too much because of the sugar. I love V8 Fusion, a blend of 8 fruits and veggies. Note that the veggies are listed first in the ingredients list so this drink is not just all fruit juice with a splash of carrots. If only it were organic, ahhhh, that would be perfection :)

Maybe Kerri Is Right And Silence Is Golden

2008-10-08T23:38:00.010-05:00

So today I was over at Kerri's house working on the jewelry project. I think things are coming along quite nicely so far. We went to a bead store with Paige which included the phrase "don't touch" a lot. But it was still a successful trip. The problem was after we got back to Kerri's house.
So picture this, it's getting close to dinner time and Kerri is cooking. I am trying to look some things up on the internet and then I hear a baby Einstein DVD on a loop, because the viewing part is over it is stuck on the start screen. It's playing the same song over and over. Layer that noise with one of the children riding on a push car thing that has a popcorn popper thing on it. Also add in the other child pushing a toy car that sounds like a machine gun while it moves. On top of all this background noise Paige is attempting to carry on a conversation with anyone who will listen to her and the little boy is carrying on a conversation with himself. I feel the need to point out here that they weren't being bad kids, they are actually great kids, but they are still kids. So I decide I need to get away from the noise so I go outside for fresh air. Bad idea. A church not far from them has some bells going off but they aren't typical bell they play a whole song, those things were going for 5 minutes.
This is total chaos as far as I'm concerned. I'm sure all of you parents reading this are going "ahh, typical day". Well not typical for me. By this point I am twitching, if people wouldn't think I had totally lost it I would sit down suck my thumb and rock. If there is too much noise in my house I either turn off the T.V. or ask Rob to turn down what he is working on. As you can tell I'm used to quite being very easy to achieve.
I would like to end this with a compliment to all of the parents that you have much stronger ears then I do and you need to be applauded for that. I also wish all of you parents at least 15 minutes of silence a day because I'm sure you need it. I will continue to live in my quite and easy to control environment which doesn't make me twitch only venturing out as needed into the world of children. And to Paige and little Jimmy if you ever read this when you grow up if by some chance this internet stuff really is around forever, I'm sorry I'm picking on you but your the kids I see the most.

Water

2008-10-08T23:38:00.008-05:00

In a recent post by my partner she mentioned no longer using bottle water because that positively affects the environment. You all know about less plastic in land fills. But this and another articles in Newsweek has me thinking about how much water we really need each day. It seems every where you go now people are carrying around water, How did this trend get started. I found the answer!

"You should drink at least eight glasses of water a day. The source for this myth may be a 1945 article from the National Research Council that claims that a "suitable allowance" of water for adults is 2.5 liters a day, although the last sentence of the article notes that much of that water is already contained in the food we eat. Existing studies suggest that that often-omitted fact is key to understanding water intake. We get enough fluids from our typical daily consumption of juice, milk and even caffeinated drinks. And drinking too much water can cause water intoxication, a severe electrolyte imbalance in which cells swell with excess fluid, and even death"
So the suggested water intake left out the fluid in the food we eat and also that and fluids counted, not just water. What i find most fascinating about this is how strongly people feel about this. As we can see from this comment
Comment: I love how the writer of this article attempts to debunk the need to drink "8 glasses of water per day" by saying "we get enough water from juice, milk, and caffeinated drinks" (aka sodas and energy drinks. I can just picture the fat-out of shape person that the writer is just by that. Instead, you should REPLACE all the juice (sugar+ empty calories), milk (hormone-laden), and soda (filled with caffeine and CARBONATED water) that Americans are used to drinking with water. "
I think this person needs a hug and a beer. I didn't know that talk of beverages could upset someone so much. She, I'm guessing the writer is a she, has a problem with every type of beverage. True juice may be "sugar and empty calories" but it obviously supplies much needed fluid. Also no where in this one little paragraph did it say to give up drinking all water which is what the person commenting seemed to have gotten from it. I going to stop writing for the night and go back to my diet pepsi without guilt, after all it is fluid.

Um, I'm not as green as I thought

2008-10-07T21:46:00.005-05:00

I'm just chomping at the bit to talk about the debates tonight, however, I refuse to turn this lovely little blog into a crazy political forum. So I'll restrain myself as hard as that may be.

Ok, I re-read my green post and came to a realization...I'm not as green as I think! I'm green when it comes to anything that impacts my family and our health but not all that good at things that impact everyone. Well, I guess if I use biodegradable and organic I am helping the environment but geez, I really do not practice what I preach when it comes to energy, water, etc. So I'll try but seriously, the whole thing about "if it's yellow let it mellow, if it's brown flush it down" I just cannot do. Not when I'm worried baby Jimmy will follow in the footsteps of his great sister and wash the Doctor's Kit in the toilet!

I'm taking a break from the enviornment to talk about the Duggars

2008-10-07T00:11:00.003-05:00

I admit I have a sick fascination with this family. It's a running joke when I talk I talk to my cousin from Arkansas if she has met them yet. (she hasn't but she wants to, it's like a sideshow curiosity we all have in my family) So tonight I watched there shows about how duggar's court, they don't date. They believe in saving everything even their first kiss for their wedding day. This is taking the purity thing to a whole new strange level.
As you read this I want you to think back to one of your first kisses. Was it any good, or was it and "oh my god this guy is trying to swallow my face". With those first kisses did you think "I wast to spend the rest of my life with this person". Or did you think "that was fun but Joe over there is cuter and I'd like to check him out." I feel if is setting yourself up for such disappointment to make such a big deal out of a first kiss, chances are it's not going to be the best kiss of you life.
If i was looking at this from what I wanted to teach my children, god forbid that happened, I don't think I could tell them to wait like that. You would miss out on so much, sure less emotional baggage is the Duggar thought, but also less coping skills if you haven't had to cope.

OK i am now done with this family i felt I couldn't ignore and will be back to making fun of peoples responses to relevant issues in my next post. Promise no more Duggars

It Ain't Easy Being Green

2008-10-06T10:18:00.006-05:00

OK ok, let's not get all crazy because people may actually want to clean their house with "clean" substances.

I love love love green things. I avidly read the ingredients of anything that will somehow come in contact with the inside or outside of my body and those of my family, including my little doggies. This includes food, cosmetics, soaps, vitamins, and also cleaning supplies. I would love a house built of bamboo and solar panels but unfortunately it's hard to go totally green unless you win the lottery. So I pick ways I can contribute to the benefit of our planet. I do not buy water in little plastic bottles for use in my home, I use stainless steel thermoses or glass jugs filled with water from my fridge door, which is lovely filtered chicago water. I steer clear of any plastic or baby products with BPA in it, I buy organic as much as possible. I reuse and recycle. That being said I do not drive an electric car, I don't compost (but my neighbor does), I go through paper plates and paper towels like crazy, I buy McDonalds for my daughter, and I 'm sure I do a ton of non-green things everyday. You'll hear this a lot from me about almost anything in my life..."Everything in moderation"

Last year just before I had my second baby I got all hot on clearing out all the chemicals from my house cleaning so anything my baby touched would be chemical free. First I tried the baking soda and vinegar bit, along with castile soap, borax, etc. I even created a little file folder of how to use all this to clean any and every surface in my house. I felt great the first time I cleaned this way but what I did not feel good about was how this natural alternative just didn't CLEAN as well as the good old "chemical" cleaners. So I moved on to Shaklee products, recommended from a friend, and they actually do work very well. However, the downfall was I could not just run out and get it when I needed it. This had to be ordered. Yuck. Over the years I have tried various things from Whole Foods and other natural stores. I'm now settled into a moderately natural cleaning state of mind. I still use store bought natural, biodegradable, no phosphate products but from time to time you have to bring out the big guns no matter what.

Yes, bleach is in my arsenal. I like bleach, it kills germs! I put a few small drops in a sprayer with water and make my own disinfectant. I once bought the Clorox Anywhere spray but read the label and realized I was paying for a few small drops of bleach in water. What a ripoff! Another GREAT product is Grapefruit Seed Extract. This is so versatile and can be used in 100's of ways. I use it as a germ killer on surfaces and also add it to my laundry.

I also tried the natural deodorant before. First, the name is what you have to pay attention to, "deodorant" not anti-perspirant AND deodorant. Ok, this just does not do it for me. I sweat. I need something that will keep me from sweating and make me smell good. I also like aluminum, it keeps me from stinking best it can and it has a tough job let me tell you!

And people, don't start sending me crazy granola comments about my mattresses and carpets emitting harmful VOC's and other things like that. I know about most of it and I tolerate it until or if ever I can do better. Also, the more crazy green stuff I do, the more teasing I get from Rachel.

So Rachel is right, chemicals can be our friends. Sometimes "Natural" can be bad for you and "chemical" can be good (hey, water is made up of Hydrogen and Oxygen, 2 chemicals). However, I think we should start going more natural as much as we can to help our planet and our bodies.

P.S. Check out Clean Well all-natural hand sanitizer for your kids. Be sure to check out the links section of our blog. And remember, good old soap and water can go a LONG way!

Chemicals are our Friends

2008-10-02T20:51:00.006-05:00

I sent an email to Kerri earlier today about an article on Newsweek that was about reducing chemicals in the home. A lot of people think this is a great idea, I don't. Chemicals are our friends, so I was actually lurking making fun of the people who posted comments after the article. This one really caught my attention
"Comment : I have done away with all fluoridated toothpaste and anti-perspiranats which contain aluminum, also any product which contains High Fructose Corn Syrup. I also have been using white vinegar to clean and baking soda to scrub the sinks and tub"
This is the last person I want to be near in a crowd. Aluminum makes deodorant work. It keeps people from offending others. It holds precious Diet Pepsi. It truly is a magic substance that we shouldn't reject. Second problem with this comment is she is cleaning with vinegar and baking soda. What about bleach. I think bleach has saved more lives then it's harmed. When i think of toxic substance i don't think bleach, bleach is used to clean up toxic messes. I just ask that if people are going to jump on the chemicals are bad band wagon, don't throw out the good helpful ones. Especially not the ones that make people smell better, kill germs and hold Diet Pepsi.

Kid's on the phone

2008-10-01T15:24:00.003-05:00

Ok, I do run into the kid on the phone thing a lot. But here is the worst scenario.
parent- say hello to Susie
(we'll call her Susie to protect the innocent child who used to be forced into this scenario all the time).
me - hi Susie
Susie - silence (pant, pant, pant)
me - hi
Susie - (pant, pant, pant)
I am now the recipient of an obscene phone call from a toddler
me - put daddy back on the phone
Susie - (pant, pant, pant)
I know Susie can talk, I've heard her talk before, but she never talks on the phone and her father puts her on every time I call
me - please put daddy on the phone
Susie - (pant, pant, pant)
Finally after about five minutes of heavy breathing her father would come back. It wasn't even a case of not being able to understand her, she just didn't understand what the phone was for.
If your going to have your child talk to someone on the phone stay with them, prompt them on what to say and how to use the phone. It's not a strange talking block. But please never leave your children alone with the phone, or else the above scenario happens.
Rob had an interesting idea of how to deal with this. When his brother would put his niece on the phone Rob would respond by putting the phone near our evil dog Wolfgang who will bark at anything. This was mildly amusing at first, but it too had gone bad in it's own way. Now our niece at the age of about 7 insist on speaking to Wolfgang using speaker phone. worse then listening to just me dog bark now I hear a child barking back at him long distance.
At times kids on the phone can be funny. I love being on the phone with Kerri and listening to Paige try to have a conversation with her whether Kerri wants to listen to her or not. Sorry moms I know it probably drives you crazy, but on my end of the phone it's funny. It's actually really funny.

Put 'em up, Put em' up! Challenge Topic - Children on the phone

2008-10-01T10:35:00.005-05:00

Ok, So Not The Mom. I challenge you!
Topic - Talking to Children on the phone.
You all know the drill, you're talking to a friend on the phone, their child is bugging your friend to let them have the phone. They of course do and the conversation goes something this...
You - "Hi (insert child's name here), how are you?"
Child - "Hi! I blah blah blah blah" a senseless string of inaudible words
You - "Ok honey, nice talking to you put mommy back on the phone"
Child - "Blah blah blah poopy hahahaha"
You - "Ok, that's great, let me talk to mommy"
Child - "blah blah blah"
This goes on for a bit usually ending in some kind of screaming or not, depends on the age of the child.

As a mom I have to deal with my daughter doing one of two things, either interrupting me when I'm on a phone call or wanting to talk to whomever is on the phone. We as moms think our kids are the most adorable things on earth, especially when they speak. Every once in awhile I will indulge her and let her talk on the phone, usually not for very long but enough to say hi to the person on the other end. I think in short spurts and in moderation this is ok. This is always ok when talking to a grandparent. I think that a mom rule generally should be to allow it if the person on the other end loves children, especially yours, allow it if your child can speak intelligibly, allow it if it is relaying their first words to someone who wants to know, and finally, do not allow it if the child starts demanding to talk on the phone. At that point tell you friend you will call them back after you deal with the situation and get control of your little devil.

So Not The Mom, what are your thoughts when people put their children on the phone in the midst of a conversation?

Dogs are Like Children

2008-09-30T21:17:00.004-05:00

I have two dogs (so does Rachel). They are small and I'm sure they will live forever and have many expenses. I just had to wipe the butt of my dog Clyde. My first thought - are you kidding me? My second thought - why didn't my husband do it?

12 pack of charmin at walgreens - $9.79
small shitzu purchased 9 years ago - $300
wiping the poop off my dogs ass - Priceless

A Glimpse Into My Future

2008-09-30T21:06:00.003-05:00

I had to stop at walgreens on the way home from running some errands. I'm standing in the halloween section looking at lightsticks to grab as a surprise for Paige and I'm near some teenage girls. I hear one of the girls holding a big bag of candy say, "Oh my god, my mom is going to kill me when she sees this...it's not organic". Eeeek, is that going to be Paige someday? and how about how old I felt standing there armed with only my 12 pack of Charmin, I might as well have been holding some Bengay and hearing aid batteries.

Welcome to Our Blog!

2008-09-30T11:25:00.037-05:00

Hi all, this is Kerri aka The Mom. I'm finally a blogger! This resulted due to a drunken night (on my part) hanging out with Rachel aka So Not The Mom. We were discussing an idea to begin stimulating that part of our brain that yearns to create and the other part that wants to make money. We are both good at making jewelry so we'll see where that leads us. That discussion brought us to also create a blog. This first post may be a bit lengthy so I can give you a glimpse of who we are.

So let me give you a history about the two of us that will help you understand what to expect from our blog. Rachel and I have been friends since the 5th grade and we are both now married and in our mid-30's. Gasp, we both just turned 35, oh the horror of it all. I have 2 children and Rachel has none, zero, nil, nada and would run screaming to the hills if one should show up staking claim to her uterus. Don't get me wrong though, she actually does like children, some children, very specific children, children that are not hers...and children LOVE her. I mean really identify with her and like to be around her, I think it's her childlike nature that lures them in.

We grew up on the northwest side of Chicago in a modest neighborhood. We attended private schools, Lutheran grammar school and Catholic high school (we do not discriminate). We still have many of the same friends from "back-in-the-day" (see future post regarding Facebook, the black hole to my time) and Rachel's family is like a second family to me.

Rachel is a nurse and currently works for a health care company. Hopefully she will blog later about the moronic people with whom she deals with. She has worked in many fields of nursing and actually worked with my older sister in interventional radiology at Northwestern Memorial Hospital, a department who is a nation leader in cutting-edge technology. I am now a stay-at-home-mom who previously worked for about 14 years for Heidrick & Struggles, a leading executive search firm based in Chicago. I worked in the finance department and Technology department managing the business intelligence reporting, some SEC filing information, and various other tidbits of all-knowing data. I was there when we went public and that was exciting. I also designed and developed their global reporting system. I had an office in the Sears Tower with a view of the lake. I miss those days :( I worked a bit from home as a contractor after my first child, but bad economic times hit and I haven't worked for them since their budget was cut.

Rachel and I can be very, very different people. On the surface I have dark features and she has light. I won't mention which one of us has the booty and which has the nice rack because it's a sore subject for me :) I like a shoe with a slender heel and Rachel loves platforms. Over the years I have had my hair many different cuts and colors. Rachel has had virtually the same haircut since high school but it works for her and she looks great in it.

I am gullible and trusting, she is sneaky. I won't mention how she made me think I wasn't growing taller when we were young because she would lie to me about the measurements. Kudos to her invention of "soft cement" in the 80's which she told me was being installed on her block so you wouldn't get hurt when you fell down. BTW, they actually have this stuff now as I have read an article about some other cities actually using "rubber" cement to relieve stress on the joints when walking or running.

Family-wise, as I mentioned, I have children and she does not. Rachel's parents are still married after all these years and my parents have both been married many many times. Rachel's family basically adopted me probably because I needed a place to eat :)

We lived together for several years in our early 20's and they were some of the most fun times of my life. She worked nights and I worked days. She would torment me with practical jokes, like the time I can home to a house filled with post-it notes declaring "wall" or "fridge" or whatever it was tacked to. I am OCD neat and she is definitely not. She thrives in the darkness of the night and I jump out of bed bright and cheery every morning (well, almost every morning). Rachel has the memory of an elephant, is witty and knows anything about everything. My memory seems to have slipped since having children.

I relish in all things natural and organic and she poo-poo's anything that could possibly be good for you. Rachel will drink Diet Pepsi by the gallon and actually travels with a little cooler filled with it at all times whereas I thrive on water. I enjoy cooking and baking, Rachel is NOT allowed to play with fire.

With all these differences we are the best of friends and we have a lot of common interests. We both love to do crafts, having taken a stained glass class together (again, fire bad) and are now going to take the leap into jewelry making together. We like the same books, we are both into music - Rachel is married to a musician and has played keyboard in their band. We both like to stay up late. We love chocolate (who doesn't). We both have the same moral and political views. I won't tell you what those are because I don't want to scare away any republicans reading this blog, oops, looks like I let it slip. What did you expect from an nature lover and a bleeding heart nurse?

So what you can look forward to in our blog? I'm sure I'll be blogging about stupid kid stuff and granola-muncher topics. Rachel will probably post things like the giant boar myth. You'll probably have to suffer through blog entries with more insight into who we are and things that have happened to us over the years of our friendship. I will forever be on the butt end of many of Rachel's jokes as she never ceases to tease me even now. She is a maniacal genius and I'm glad she is on my side. I'm sure all her posts will shadow mine as hers will most likely be much more witty and hilarious. Rachel can make me laugh like no other person on this earth, many times to tears.

We will do our best to give you an intelligent, informative and entertaining look at things from the mom vs so not the mom perspective. I hope you enjoy our blog and that it brings you laughter, knowledge and inspiration!